How Eggman Took Over the World
by Infamousplot
Summary: Metal Sonic tells Tails Doll a story about how Eggman/Robotnik/Kintobor/El Gran Gordo took over the world, and Tails Doll learns why he should never ask Metal to tell him a bedtime story... TD and Metal, humor, not much more to it than that...


**Just a random, cracky oneshot I came up with with Fear. Very random... And for those of you who haven't read the Sonic X comics, El Gran Gordo is one of Eggman's aliases. Just remember that...**

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><p>One night in one of EggmanRobotnik/Kintobor/Whatever the Heck his Name is Today's bases (Base Number 729, to be exact), all of the Megalomaniac of Many Name's robots were getting ready to shut down and recharge for the night. This included three of his most infamous and under appreciated robots: Metal Sonic, Metal Knuckles, and the Tails Doll.

After a long day of working his can off, Metal (Sonic) was ready to plug himself in and enter sleep mode. He was about to step into his recharge chamber, when he felt a small tug on his arm. Looking down, he saw Tails Doll, the tiny doll's head lolling to the side as he looked up.

"What is it, Tails Doll?" Metal asked.

"Metal, will you tell me a story before I go to sleep?" Tails Doll- who we will call TD, since 'Tails Doll' is a bit of a mouthful- asked innocently, his little jewel glowing as he spoke. Without a mouth. Somehow.

If Metal had had a mouth, he would have frowned.

"TD, it's time to recharge -not 'sleep'. Anyhow, you are not a mobian child. You are a robot... Doll... Thing." TD tried not to feel insulted by this. "You don't need a 'story.'" Metal finished. TD huffed, crossing his arms- or at least trying to. They just sort of swung by his sides.

"But I want one!" He cried, loud enough to make every other robot look his way. Before he threw one of his Mammoth Tails Doll Tantrums (which could blow his audio-circuits out), Metal tapped the little target-dummy's gem. TD looked up as appealingly as a doll without the ability to change his facial expression could.

"Fine. I'll tell you a story. But only if you promise to _shut down and recharge_ after." He growled, sitting down.

"Yay!" TD cheered, collapsing in front of Metal and staring up at him, waiting.

"What sort of story do you want to hear?" Metal asked, searching his memory bank for something to tell the doll.

"I want to hear a story about Eggman taking over the world!" TD cried. Metal frowned mentally/data chippedly (?). How did he tell a story that had never happened? "Well?" TD asked impatiently, shuffling on the floor. Metal sighed. He hated when he had to do this...

And so, Metal decided to creep on Sonic's Life Data and tap into his personality a bit. if anyone could tell a stupid story about their Master, it would be his Organic Other!

"Alright... Once there was an evil scientist named Robotnik-"

"Isn;t his name Eggman now?"

"Well, yes. It used to be Kintobor though."

"That's only in the British comics!"

"Oh yeah... Well, in this story his name is Robotnik."

"Fine..."

"Anyway, Robotnik was evil. He was also egotistical."

"Eggo-whatical?"

"He had a big head."

"And a big stomach!"

"Exactly. Now, the fat old man -Robotnik -was a little screwy in the head. He had no friends, and no life, so he poured his existence into creating robots so that he would have someone to love him."

"That's sad."

"Yes, yes it is." Metal nodded, looking down at the fox doll just so the readers could discern who was saying what, in case they'd gotten lost somewhere along the way. "One day, Robotnik realized that he could use his robots to take over the world! And build a giant amusement park of evil, that he would call Eggmanland."

"That's stupid."

"Yes TD, yes it is. So, Eggman-"

"You mean Robotnik?"

"Whatever. The evil fat guy made a bunch of robots to take over the world. And instead of just buying batteries like a normal person, he decided to waste his time catching a bunch of small defenseless woodland creatures to power his machines."

"..."

"Exactly. Then, they got smashed into bits by a mutated blue hedgehog. And that made Eggman-"

"Robtnik."

"El Gran Gordo, very depressed. So, after looking over his plans for months, he realized what he'd done wrong... And decided to try the same exact thing again. Fourteen times."

"Really? Fourteen?" Yes really, Tails Doll. I even looked it up on the Wiki and counted.

"Probably more. And then one day, it finally occured to El Gran Gordo-"

"Is that supposed to be Eggman?"

"Robotnik-"

"WTF Metal?"

"-Kintobor, finally realized, that his plans were stupid and would never, ever work."

"... That's too bad."

"Yes, it is too bad TD. So then, Kinteggotnik tried to come up with a surefire way to get people to obey him- something he could do that would have people _begging_ him to be their leader! Then, he figured it out."

"What was it, what was it?" Tails Doll- oops, I mean TD- asked excitedly.

"He took his shirt of."

"What?" TD's enthusiasm died and his facial expression actually changed to give Metal the greatest "WTF?" look a Doll had ever made. The security cameras even caught photographic evidence.

"You heard me. He walked out into the middle of Station Square, which is apparently the center of the universe, in broad daylight... And ripped his shirt off."

Tails Doll wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"Upon seeing the grotesque rolls of fat upon his egg shaped body, the citizens were blinded. Screams filled the air! Cars crashed, building exploded, people were flinging themselves into the ocean to escape the disgusting sight! It was worse than the time he sicced Chaos on the city, but a lot less wet." Metal was very animated now. TD stared at him blankly.

"... Than what happened?"

"People screamed and begged him to put his shirt back on. They said they'd do anything, as long as they never had to see that life scarring scene again. The next thing you know, the mayor offers him the deed to the city, as long as he promised never to take his shirt off to them again. So of course, he took it. Then he moved in, leveled the city and created RoboggmantoborLand, and showed the rest of the world his unfit body until they all bowed into submission. And that, is how Eggman took over the world." Metal finished proudly, Sonic's Life Data coursing through him like caffeine. TD stared at him blankly, floating up with his perfect "WTF?" look still plastered on his face.

"Well?" Metal asked, "What do you think?" Tails Doll frowned.

"That was the stupidest story I've ever heard." He replied flatly. Metal scoffed, crossing his arms.

"You're a stupid story!" He retaliated lamely.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"That doesn't even make any sense!" TD cried. He wished he could express more facial expressions. It'd make life so much easier... He needed emoticons...

"Go to bed!" Metal screeched, and TD yelped, flying off to his recharging chamber that he didn't need since he was a doll. Ducking under his covers he wasn't supposed to have, he peered at Metal, who now looked like he had a migraine.

"And that..." Metal groaned, stepping into his recharging chamber and plugging himself in, "Is why I avoid Sonic the Hedgehog..."

And so they all went to recharge.

The end.

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><p>:D<p>

**I want Tails Doll... I mean TD. He's so cute x3 I love these two. Though usually I don't imagined them as living such cracky lives... O hwell, I really need to get to bed. G'night! Please review! And no TD hating!**


End file.
